Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
