you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
