I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
