I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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