Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
