I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
