one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
