$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
