i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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