It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
