This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
