I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
