And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
