I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I touched a dick in church today
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
