we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
