just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
