Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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