Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
