batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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