your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
