honey bunches of taint.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Randomize
