The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize