We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I need water and some morals
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
