How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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