I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
