We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
