i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
