So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
