wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
