Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
