And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
