So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
