I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
