Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
