Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
