One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
