she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
