think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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