Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
