i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
