I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
