If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Tornado booty call.. dedication
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
