I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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