he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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