My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
