If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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