maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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