I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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