I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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