I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize