Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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