You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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