Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
