the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm passing your future prison.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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